September 24, 2010

Category: Lifestyle, Real Talk

Rebooting Life L-Boogie Stylie

Whoa Nelly, my one-week break from this here cipher turned into six just like that! At the outset I knew I needed a break. Blogging, social networking and the whole idea and notion of being theHotness is a non-stop grind. I have to be online everyday from the minute I step out of bed to the minute I tuck myself back in at night. I have to be in the mix for what seems like every premiere, fashion show, book signing, panel discussion and cocktail soiree! Fun, but exhausting. After unplugging for a week to get some rest and live outside the Matrix, I discovered had been hacked. I was shocked, but not devastated. It was August and most folks were vacationing. I kept my cool. It wasn’t until I was hacked again three weeks later that I began to unravel. Google had marked my site as “dangerous” and so browsers treated theHotness like it was leprosy. With my digital Scarlet Letter, I was virtually quarantined and silenced. I was a mess. Thing is, in the midst of this malware maelstrom while crying on the phone to the tech assigned my case, I was in fact going through my own personal emotional glitches.

At the end of March I was laid-off from my job, in June I went on a mind-blowing spiritual recharging trip to Cuba, in between I was beefin with two close friends, while simultaneously creating some deep bonds with two new homies. I reconnected with family in Martha’s Vineyard. I was losing weight, but becoming increasingly concerned about my “clock” and having babies.

Woman in Havana

Like my website, I needed to be rebooted. I was changing, but never “reset” my-self and my priorities to accommodate these new… um, plug-ins. Because I had not updated my site’s passwords or reset any of the WordPress plug-ins, theHotness became super vulnerable to being compromised. Not so surprisingly, super busy me was also heading for an emotional crash. Mercury was in retrograde and after being hacked and shutdown, it dawned on me that the Universe was giving me a not so subtle hint. I needed to take a break and get attuned to the brand new me that was forming. Honestly, it was weeks before I saw beyond the astrological ramifications. Not until I saw Lauryn Hill at Rock The Bells did it all become so clear.

The main reason I copped a ticket to RTB was to finally see Ms. Hill again. I missed her. Everyone there including Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Alicia Keys missed her. Midway through her very uneven set, during her performance of “To Zion,” L-Boogie introduced her five children (Zion is now 13!) to the audience and said: “I wasn’t just on vacation. I was working… working hard.”

It was revelatory for me in two ways: #1 – Her decision to step outta the spotlight to have her children and solely be a mother, at her level of success, was not only bold, but very brave. #2 – I hated that she had to qualify her absence. Lauryn, like so many women including myself, felt the need to clarify her 10-year hiatus as more than a period of chillaxation. Ugh! Can’t wonder women be wondrous without having to do and be a gazillion things? I immediately understood her desire to get outta the belly of the beast and take some quiet time to get affirmed and invigorated. I love that she got away to get in sync with her transformation as a mother. I’m betting her music and art will benefit enormously from her internal re-boot. I know that after my six weeks offline my writing is better and I feel more confident than ever about lighting it up and bringing da fiercest fire!

When is the last time you’ve taken a moment away to reboot and get emotionally in sync with your evolving selves? Please let me know.

Ferry ride from Martha's Vineyard

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5 Responses to “Rebooting Life L-Boogie StylieComment RSS feed

  • Daree
    September 25th, 2010 12:20 am

    Sounds like the curse of your hacked site also was a blessing in disguise. I bet that concert was so exciting. It does seem like women (at least in America) push themselves to be too many things to too many people and forget themselves. Lauryn is a person and she has so much talent, class, and confidence that us fans of hers will welcome her whenever she makes her comeback. Good stuff!

  • florence tate
    September 25th, 2010 2:36 pm

    so glad you’re back! it was very wise of you to take some re-booting time. i think all of you super-productive people —and others, can benefit from such a course.
    now, the clock thing. that’s natural, understandable, and very much a fact of life. children can enrich one’s life immensely and compensate for losses elsewhere.
    don’t want to be preachy, but when talking with young women i feel compelled to “share”.

  • mr. jones
    September 26th, 2010 3:47 pm

    lookin’ good hotness…. as to your revelations, it is unfortunate that you view it as particular to women. #1 and #2, regrettably, could be applied to us all. i would even argue, as a man, that it would be more difficult for a man, to leave “success”, whatever that means, for family. as you well know, we live in a fucked up predatory country, where we all, at least the 99.5% that must work, live with the fear of the unknown. as we morph into a banana republic, if we already aren’t one, such concerns will seem trivial as the uncertainity magnifies. in the interim, i suggest we enjoy the life we currently have………

  • Terri Wilkinson
    September 26th, 2010 5:28 pm

    It is so nice to have you back. I didn’t realize just how much I missed reading the Hotness until I got to read it again. I am glad that you took the much needed time off, you deserve it. I make sure to try and reboot every summer. I am lucky enough to have a job that doesn’t work in the summer. I get to reboot the Mom in me first by spending time with my children. We then “unplug” from everything. I pack the car with a tent, some sleeping bags and the kiddos and off to the woods we go. No electronics, no cars, not even running water. We love it!!!

  • Veron Graham
    October 18th, 2010 11:48 am

    It’s a bit counterintuitive, but taking a break, or getting away awhile, is sometimes exactly what we need. Reflection is very underrated in our society! Great post…glad I stumbled into your blog!

    Now about Lauryn…Man..I love that lady & her message. The way people see what she did as being strange/weird, really reveal how of kilter our society can be.