November 23, 2015

Best Of, Real Talk

You Never Know! (It’s not always #BlackGirlJoy)

NEW YORK, NY - JULY 14:  People hug during services at Middle Collegiate Church in Manhattan honoring Trayvon Martin on July 14, 2013 in New York City. George Zimmerman was acquitted of all charges in the shooting death of Martin July 13 and some congregants wore hoodies during the service to honor Martin.  (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 173735708

(Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)

After a mountaintop experience with Carrie Mae Weems and my college bestie Kim last weekend in DC, I returned to NYC on Monday. That same night I had an awesome time at a cocktail mixer. I engaged with literary agents, editors and other writers and was feeling uber inspired as a creative and as a Black woman. Then I decided to take the bus back uptown to Harlem after the Read more...

April 23, 2012

Best Of, Grooves

Bahamadia, Hip Hop & Me

Next Wednesday, May 2nd, I have the honor of moderating “Nice With Hers”— a conversation (plus fab intro by’s Jamilah Lemieux) with Karen Good, Kierna Mayo, and dream hampton — some of the fearless female journalists who wrote the narrative of how the world came to know hip hop, culture, fashion, and itself at the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture in Harlem, USA. I’m thrilled, nervous and totally consumed with what Read more...

December 15, 2011

Best Of, Real Talk

Kiss My Placenta!

Erykah Badu had to break bad when her fans voiced their disapproval over her reproductive life: “HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE QUEENDOM… AND MY CHILDREN AND MY INTELLIGENCE.” It seems that folk are not pleased that the singer, songwriter, producer, actress and doula has had three children with three different men, so they went straight to her fansite to voice their discontent. Up in arms and all up in her womb, fans feel Ms. Badu Read more...

July 12, 2011

Best Of, theHigh-5

5 Things We Can Learn From Frida Kahlo


Frida Kahlo– survivor, lover, revolutionary. When broken she reinvented herself. Her body was her canvas that became a site of empowerment for all women. Born Magdalena Carmen Frieda Kahlo y Calderón, Frida was a bonafide Cancer who loved to love and be loved. Tomorrow will mark the 57th anniversary of Frida Kahlo’s death. The defiantly beautiful Mexicana who created some 200 paintings and drawings during her lifetime would’ve turned 104 last Wednesday– her birthday and Read more...

June 20, 2011

Best Of, Lifestyle

Thanks to Daddy, I’m Every Woman!


This Father’s Day was my fourth without my dad and to use Oprah’s phrase– What I know for sure— is that Daddy’s Girls never get over the loss of our fathers. I am always so full on Father’s Day. Not sad like that first Father’s Day when I decided to buy flowers to place on my dad’s gravesite. The woman behind the counter was busy helping one woman with her arrangement. She looked up Read more...

March 16, 2011

Best Of, Videos

What is theHotness?



It never fails. I give someone my business card and I get an, “Ooohh, what’s theHotness” and, usually if it’s a dude, a raised eyebrow and a wink will accompany this sentence. Um no. Sorry, wrong kind of hotness, sir. I’m not running a Heidi Fleiss den of sex and scandal. “It’s a dotcom… we celebrate the brains, backbone and beauty of brown girls,” I respond. I hate to do it, but I always Read more...

January 18, 2011

Best Of, books, Grooves, TV/Film, Videos

Best of 2010 & 2011 on theHotness Tip


18 days into the new year and it’s already been a doozy. The first week I had to travel to South Carolina to attend the funeral of my ever charming, charismatic, and ambitious cousin, Michael. That same week another cousin suffered a mild stroke at the meager age of 42. On top of worry, grief, regret and frustration, I’ve been dealing with an awful case of writer’s block. I’ve been consumed with thoughts about the Read more...

November 19, 2010

Best Of, Real Talk

3 Life Lessons from Dancing With The Stars


After Tuesday night’s shocking results on “Dancing With The Stars” where top-scoring Brandy and her partner Maks got the boot, folks all across America have been going berserk. One man in Wisconsin even shot his television and pointed the gun at his wife in a state of rage. Personally, I was over DWTS years ago when Mel B. lost. Homegirl was doing splits, executed the fox trot like a pro and twirled around like she Read more...

October 26, 2010

Best Of, Lifestyle, Real Talk

Being Fierce vs. Being a Beeyotch

When did women start feeling like they had to be a mean girl or a bitch in order to get respect, in order to feel fierce? No doubt I’ve worked with and have encountered many successful beeyotches in my time, but the overwhelming majority of fierce sisters I know are generous, relatable, secure, approachable, and genuinely nice. Yeah, these women have their doubts, but they choose to dip their spirit in a pool of confidence. Read more...

October 1, 2010

Best Of, Real Talk

How Daddy Made Me a Fly Woman

Last weekend while standing in the condiments aisle of Marshall’s looking for an awesome ginger chile sauce, I bumped into an old friend. Eyes kinda puffy, she had been crying. She just lost her dad like a month ago and just found out while looking for a glass canister that her homegrrrl’s father just passed away too. I told her what I knew firsthand: Be gentle with yourself, grieve when you want and know that Read more...