April 15, 2010

Category: Real Talk

Rape Ain’t Spectacular

I need to know when rape became so acceptable to the point of trending? No, maybe not when, buy probably why? First, writer/ BET correspondent Toure posted on Twitter some rather confusing comments about how he believed some female slaves were ok with massa raping them because it would sometimes lead to freedom:

“Of course most were raped, …but most were sharp enough to trade that good-good for status and liberation.”

How liberated did Sally Hemmings feel giving birth to a child by Thomas Jefferson, only to have to beg him to free his own children from slavery on his deathbed.

Then last Friday, Lil’ Duval (who the hell is he anyway? A bootleg Dave Chapelle wannabe Lil Wayne?) started the Twitter trending topic: #itaintrape:

#itaintrape if you don’t remember it happened
#itaintrape if I fly u in

And now, as much as I tried to ignore it, former Cheetah Girl, Kiely Williams has recorded this awfully ignorant song, “Spectacular,” about how spectacular it was to be drunk raped:

I think he pulled a track out/ When he was blowing my back out/ What was I drinking/ I cant believe I blacked out/ Last I remember I was face down/ Ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off.

I’m so done, I’m undone. Have we become this desensitized to violent atrocities against women and girls? Watch the clip above about how young girls and women are raped daily in the Congo. Hear about their nightmares and the pain and alienation they feel. Then watch the video of “Spectacular” posted at the bottom of this blog and tell me how you feel.

Just last week most of us were shocked to hear about the horrific gang rape of a 7-year old girl in Trenton, NJ. Black female bodies are ruptured and violated and people think it’s a friggin joke. Laugh it off as a Twitter hashtag. From the response to Duval’s trending-topic, which had an urban (ie. African-American cultural slant) many think women deserve to be raped as some form of compensation for expensive gifts. And girls that wear short skirts and poom-poom shorts are just asking to be violated. No one cares about brown and black bodies. Not even that of a little 7-year old girl being penetrated against her will by several teenage boys. That’s the same age as my niece. I am hurt, distraught and enraged over this. I hope you are too. Please speak up and out about this whenever you can. Folk can’t continue to think rape is a joke.

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11 Responses to “Rape Ain’t SpectacularComment RSS feed

  • Anita Bryant
    April 15th, 2010 6:24 pm

    I can’t believe the speakers in our community are so dumb. Slaves didn’t have choices or free will. But you have so many of us who are “other” and don’t connect to the Black Experience. And these are the same people Media Outlets go to speak for us. I am sick of it all.

    Now I didn’t get date rape from this song or video. I am surprised this pretty girl couldn’t find another topic to talk about. She is forcing the sexy and trying too hard.

    Thanks for putting some light on this issue.

  • Chynadahl
    April 15th, 2010 7:41 pm

    Un-be-fuckin-lievable!!!! The first video made broke my heart. The second one with that Kiely chick pissed me the f** off!!! WTH!!! Enough is enough. We are perpetrating the biggest crimes in humanity against ourselves. The youth are being poisoned at our own hands. It’s time to look in the mirror and take responsibility for the direction our community, our nation is going. This is OC!!!

    Nicole, if you are able, please tell us what we can do to help end this. I’m not trying to put the responsibility into your lap, but as people read this blog, it would be nice to know of an organization we can volunteer at or donate to end this atrocity.

    We can no longer afford to turn away. We need to take action. Without a solution, this type of attitude and behavior will only fester and spread.

    Thanks for highlighting this.



  • Letstalkwhatever
    April 16th, 2010 2:33 am

    Preach on sista Anita. We are at an unfortunate place in in time where people will do anything for a hit or five minutes of attention

  • Terri
    April 16th, 2010 8:51 am

    I wish that I hadn’t decided to eat breakfast while reading/watching this. I am sick to my stomach! All I can say is that the first video broke my heart while the second one makes me filled with such anger! I wonder what her Grandmomma would think about this video. Better yet, how will she feel one day trying to explain to her daughter the motivation for this ultra cheesy, no talent excuse for a song. Really!?!?!?! This is what 2010 means for women and music? It isn’t even a good song, she can’t really sing and this is what a Cheetah girl grows up to do? I am embarrassed for her even though she seems to be lacking couth. Rape will never be ok, or socially acceptable. If this is the trend we are on, count me out.

  • PutyrDreams1st
    April 16th, 2010 10:35 am

    Nicole, Thank you for your post. I agree %1000. I am breaking the silence and will tweet this like crazy. Those soldiers?! OMG…the impunity issue is major. They clearly feel entitled and have no comprehension of a woman’s worth. They’d rape their mother if they could! Who presides over the Congo? Their military is out of control and they are either in denial or in collusion.

    I was too disgusted by Kiely’s video to give it any further audience–plus between you and Carolyn Edgar it’s all been said.

  • jalylah
    April 16th, 2010 11:33 am

    Thanks for this post and for putting all of these instances of sexual violence in public discourse in conversation with each other.

    “…many think women deserve to be raped as some form of compensation for expensive gifts.”

    What’s frightening in incidents like this is that many men AND women think that receiving gifts from a man or having a past sexual history with a man confers consent. And, honestly, I don’t know how to trouble this way of thinking.

    I remember having a discomfiting conversation with a dear woman friend who was trying to make a distinction between real rape (perpetuated by a stranger) and everything else. For her, most rape is just poor judgement on the part of women and therefore, if not deserved, not worth fussing over. This is a grown-ass educated travelled women. We discussed this issue for hours and she didn’t budge.

  • dream hampton
    April 16th, 2010 1:18 pm


  • iCandy
    April 16th, 2010 1:45 pm

    Yes, people are desensitized to it. Can’t compare it to the reasons for rape in the Congo either though.. it’s a different beast entirely IMO.. I am not comparing them but rather the conditions and reactions to people who witness it.

    see video: http://bit.ly/8ILorW (girl kidnapped while drunk, now why did she drink herself into a stupor, expect her friends to stay and not expect she was leaving herself open to any manner of predator)

    see video: http://bit.ly/9Hprh9 more evidence people are desensitized, Kiely’s manager and sister proudly defends (as did Kiely) the video AND THE MESSAGE which were both obviously intentional. So they are basically lookign to capitalize on rape.

    anyway, more people have gone in on this on Twitter but your post adds to the general consensus

  • Karen Hurst
    April 16th, 2010 6:52 pm

    I’m so upset at it all. When I saw the movie from the first clip I cried the whole way through. It’s a pity that a mans’ self esteem, power, even family honor in some areas of the world are all between a woman legs. What do we do?

  • theHotness
    April 22nd, 2010 5:43 pm
    Author's Reply

    @Anita B. – Good point about media representation. Also Kiely sings in Spectacular that she blacked out and couldn’t remember having sex, but knew she did. You have to be conscious to give consent and without consent it’s rape.

    @Chynadahl: Yes we need some solutions! Some new remedies cuz the old ones ain’t working as the trend is worsening. I’m thinking and praying on some things. If you or anyone else has any ideas or suggestions please share!

    @Terri: “This is what a Cheetah girl grows up to do?” Great question!:)

    @iCandy: For me rape is rape whether it happens in the Congo or in Compton. It all stems from the devaluation of a woman’s body, of her vagina and of her ability to say no.

  • Tiffany
    April 25th, 2010 10:35 am

    It’s hard to believe that we aren’t surprised by this crap anymore. It’s a horrifying ordeal that no one should have to go through and it should never be taken lightly as it stays with a person forever.Some folks think it’s a joke and yes, there are women who run around yelling it when that is what transpired between them and the other. When did being a victim become a joking matter.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate